When I was little my mom loved Cher. She still does, I’m sure, but when I was little my mom had control over the radio and VCR. And she loved Cher’s comeback and adored the movie Moonstruck. You know: the one where she has a fabulous gray streak and Nicholas Cage (her fiance’s brother-tsk tsk) falls for her? My hands down favorite part is when he is declaring his love for her (or was it when he proposed?) and she snaps at him exasperatedly with the winning line, “Snap out of it!”
How can you be mad at a baby faced Nick Cage?
My daughter recently pushed me over the brink. And the tipping point wasn’t even anything horrible: just a culmination of irritations that only Jesus and a peanut butter cup could handle. And an ice cold Coca Cola. Anyways. I’m not sure if I said it or just thought it but the phrase, “what is wrong with you?” kept coming up. Once the storm calmed and forgiveness and hugs and snuggles were exchanged that thought popped up again. What is wrong with my kids? What is wrong with me?
Isn’t she sweet when she’s fake sleeping? My little comedienne.
Can I give you my opinion? I’m going to anyways so if you don’t want it, stop reading right here. 🙂
Nothing’s wrong with my kids. Absolutely nothing. They are normal and healthy and are pushing limits just like they are supposed to. My mini diva isn’t driving me nuts for naught; nope, there is purpose behind it. She’s growing more and more independent and needs to know what boundaries are going to be enforced. And it’s my job to teach her and Little Larry discipline and grace and forgiveness and obedience. Like I’m qualified for that. Seriously! I was given a toddler Sunday School class to teach and let me tell you: they’re a tough crowd. Major love to all the teachers out there! You are a special breed.
So what about me? What is wrong with me to respond and react in a harsh manner? Because this girl does not like having to retrieve groceries and new clothes out of the trash. I do not relish vacuuming and sweeping weekly, let alone the twice or thrice a day required in this household. And you know what else? Mopping up a flooded bathroom is not my cup of tea. Especially when the mini diva was directly instructed to not splash. We won’t even go into what they do attitude wise. I want to say they get it from their daddy.. But I didn’t get the moniker Heidiva for no reason.
I need this in my life. Stat.
I’m getting sidetracked. And irritated that my floor is already covered, yet again, in cheerios. Cheerios that I did not give them. May I venture to say that there isn’t anything wrong with me, either? Yeah, I said it. Someone messes with your stuff and you get agitated. Someone close talks you all day long everyday? You are more than likely going to need to just walk away at some point. Just like my children are learning and craving guidance as they grow: so am I. I’m learning to be the momma they need. I’m learning to be the wife and friend and sister and daughter and disciple and servant and worker that I have been created to be.
You can’t teach creativity like that. Lord, keep me from stifling Little Larry!
You made me; you created me. Now give me the sense to follow your commands.
Psalm 119:73 NLT
We were made by God, for God, for his good pleasure. There is a worship leader named Karen Walker Smith who I just love. If you haven’t heard her testimony; check it out on YouTube. It’s beautiful. In it she talks about how much we are loved by God. If we could grab a hold that he knows how frail we are, he knows how strong we are, and he knows what we have yet to master or learn. And he still loves us. And as I learn more and more that it isn’t so much in my performance but my heart that I gain the good sense to follow his commands. Yet I’m human and still fall short. I’m so thankful that God does not condemn me when I mess up. Because I’d have been a goner a long time ago if that were the case.
Moral of the story: learning does not mean that there is something wrong with you. It means there is a lesson you haven’t yet grasped or been taught. Let’s give ourselves some grace. Let’s stop fighting being taught and taking being schooled as a sucker punch and take it for what it is: grace and goodness. It’s a good thing to learn how to do better. It’s a good thing to realize that though you are flawed you are still worth teaching. Let’s make a deal, you and me. Next time we go the wrong way or say what we ought not to, instead of condemning ourselves let’s learn. And have the sense to do better the next time. And if (well, for me it’s when) we fail again let’s just try again.
Her brows get the Heidiva seal of approval. Glorious.
If you’re caught in a bit of an emotional roller coaster or tug of war at the moment you have my permission to snap out of it!